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“While you keep believing that somewhere out there, there is somebody who is the reason for your struggles, you are just keeping yourself away from the ability to take everything in your hands. Only when you say “ I am the reason”, you will find the strength to change everything!”

Does that sound familiar? We spend days and our whole life, searching for somebody to blame for our failures, lost dreams, missed opportunities and lost chances. We search everywhere, but inside of us. And you can’t imagine how much easier it is to change what you do, than it is to change what others are doing!

I am 23 years old but I have done more mistakes in my life, than you could guess. I’ve learned most of the lessons in life, the hard way! Actually I am the kind of person that has feelings… really strong feelings but I rarely show them. This was the reason to start blogging- because with the blank sheet I could share everything I thin and feel. And sharing it with you, I get the opportunity to meet people who are just the same as me. People who don’t judge or blame. People who accept others and people who are aware that everyone walks his own path, full of stones, that leaves us with wounds, scars and memories, which carry their weight on each one of our actions, each thought and each reaction!

By writing, I discover myself every day. By writing, every day I have the chance to reach the person I am and the person I want to be.

I’ve been on the bottom more than once. I’ve felt tearing sadness, discouraging desperation and unending pain… till the moment, when I realized that I am responsible for the rate up to which events influence my life.

When somebody is telling me insulting words, I am the one that evaluates if his words describe me, or if they are just a projection of his inner insecurities and an attempt to defend himself.

Nobody could insult you, unless somewhere deep inside, you feel the same way about yourself!

When things don’t go the way you’ve planned them, nothing has the power to break you, unless you give in to being weak minded and feeling sorry about yourself!

You need to realize that you can’t change what happens around you! You can’t change events. But you can change your inner experience to them! You could change the way you accept change, failure, disappointments and loss.

“Nothing has its own meaning, besides the meaning you give it.” Nothing that happens in your life is painful itself. Pain is a result of our evaluation for the events!

We spend years, thinking and analyzing situations from the past. We search for deep meaning, where there isn’t such meaning. We grasp to minor things from our past, which carry their weight on our present and destroy our future.

They say that happy people are happy, because they’ve realized that there isn’t a reason to be otherwise. Isn’t that the truth? We pay so much attention to negative things in life, and we rarely pay attention to the beauty in life. We can’t understand that what we focus on, has the power to grow and finally becomes our reality.

We go to bed every night, falling asleep with the thought of what is going wrong; what hardships we faced during the day… we fall asleep with the fear of what is expecting us tomorrow and if we are gonna manage to overcome  it.

Our mind is directed to what is going wrong. We search for somebody to blame.

I’ve done that too… I used to fall asleep with my disappointments and I used to wake up with my fears. I used to carry my pain, my burdens and my failures. And every single time, things used to fall apart… everything failed. I got more tired, more cautious and I trusted less.

Today when I go to bed at night, I do not let negative thoughts, take over my mind. Today, when I go to sleep I start counting my blessings and I thank for the opportunity to do what I love; to spend time with people who take out the best out of me; for the opportunity to walk in the park, to have a bed, to eat good food and have a place, that I call home.

In the morning I do not wake up with my fears, but with a desire. A desire to see the opportunities that the new day has to offer. I am eager to see the new wonderful people that I will meet on the road, what I will learn from them and what I will be able to give somebody, who will need the lessons I’ve learned.

As a typical emotional person, I used to think that pain is inevitable. I used to listen to sad lyrics and give in to the memories of the past… to remind myself about tearing feelings and broken dreams.

Today I understand how right Oscar Wilde was, when he wrote, that  only weak minded people need years to overcome certain feelings. But those who are masters of themselves, could end the pain just as easy as they could find pleasure. “I don’t want to rely on the goodwill of my feelings. I want to experience them, to enjoy them, but to rule them!”

Today I do not want to rely on the goodwill of my feelings. I do not want to spend days and years, praying, hoping for the pain to go away… to feel happiness, joy and excitement again. Today I enjoy everything that I have the chance to try, to live, to feel. But today I rule my emotions!

Today I do not let feeling sorry for myself, to suffer, to look back.

Because I’ve done it before. I’ve wasted precious time to overcome events from my pats, that didn’t have anything to be overcome!

Everything that we see in our reality, is a result of our notion about it.

We shouldn’t give wrong evaluations and we shouldn’t judge, “because we don’t know why certain things happen, neither we know what will be the result at the end.”

My experience, and I am sure yours too, shows me that everything has a reason to happen.

What you find a reason to suffer for today, will pass. You will forget it “just like kids forget their toys. Not because they are unworthy, but because they’ve outgrown them!”

Just give yourself some time. Time, that you will use for the new opportunities that life has to offer. Not time that you will just exist, feeling sorry about yourself.

…”you can connect the dots only backwards!” Steve Jobs

… and while you walk, don’t draw a path full of stones, holes, weeds, puddles and thrones…

Instead plant flowers, sprinkle happiness and joy, and clean your path from the ugliness!

Do you let your feelings rule you, or are you gonna work harder and become a master of your life?

P.S. If you liked this post, please share it with your friends! I’d greatly appreciate it!

Ако статията ви е харесала, споделете я с приятелите си. Благодаря, че помагате да достигне до повече хора.

Ела да тренираш в някоя от залите ни

Предизвикай себе си и направи крачка към по-здравото си Аз. Груповите тренировки в IFS са различни – при нас броят на трениращите в група е ограничен и всеки има различна тренировка, изготвена според индивидуалните му нужди. Тренировки има през целия ден и ще намериш удобно време и локация, според графика ти. Очакваме те в IFS.

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Ines Subashka

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I am a ‘something-searcher person” and I have devoted my life to the mission to reveal myself, to improve, to collect the pieces of puzzle in my own nature, so that to give and to receive from life as much as possible. My Life is history, full of broken dreams, falls, disappointments and finally achieved awareness, that it all depends on me and that each opportunity can be a materialized reality. We only have to think and act in a way, which will lead us on the road to its implementation. The most valuable resources we have are our time and health, and our Body is the instrument, through which we use them, to crate the world we live in. I dedicated my life to share myself, the wisdom and experience, which had left after the mistakes I had done. I am doing this in order to help people find their way, which will let them “’reinvent”’ themselves, to restore their health, confidence and trust for life. I wish they could realize their own potential. Training is rehearsal for the life itself; this is the place, where on a few square meters in the IFS you can experience each of the possible sensations- triumph, fall, disappointment, hope, will, weakness, and most of all power. The place, where in “monitoring conditions”” you can remind your body how to move correctly, how to work in your interest. Everything I have tried to achieve through IFS and the trainings is to help people bring back their consciousness, health and freedom to be who they are-without doubting. I have given myself time to re-build and to re-invent myself! Give yourself time as well. Come and train with us in IFS!