The silence of an early morning- the stolen moments from the day, when everybody and everything is still asleep. You get the chance to be alone with yourself- with your true essence. You are alone with your true self, which you are not trying to “decorate” or change, just so you can fit in somebody’s notions, expectations or just in your primal desire to be accepted. The moments when you are YOU in your wholeness- a complex of the polarities, which are hidden in your soul and which are constantly fighting for control over your thoughts and a possession of your personality.
I feel like writing about… ego- the main source of each emotion, each action that it provokes.
I think that I could write a book about ego and its manifestations; about our inability to use it consciously and handle it as an armor, which helps us conquer the life we long for.
If I have to sum up my philosophy about life, I’d say that the ego is our biggest strength and our biggest weakness; the inability to enjoy life, comes from our inability to understand our own ego.
Many of us are under the constant control of the emotions, which we cannot obey, because we’ve lost our ability to observe our own experiences and filter them according to our own desires and beliefs. We get distant from our own self and focus on our peers. We do it, broke under the heavy duty to get to know our essence, and forced to search for a place an object, where we can project everything that we are incapable to recognize in our own self and everything that we demonize in correspondence with our private interests.
The life of most people is filled with fights with the ego- life filled with fights with our own self. We fool ourselves that the enemy is the world around us, and in reality the enemy is our own self. Once we manage to get in peace with our own self, we will be in peace with our surroundings. Once we get to know our own self better, we will learn to recognize the life happening around us.
Ego and the fight with ego! Actually we should not fight with it, because when there is a fight it burdens us with the subjective value of the participant. I think that we can use our ego consciously. In my opinion we are the actors and the ego is the different roles, which we can play. Depending on the plot, which the day offers, we have the freedom to switch roles, but doing it consciously; without making the mistake to attach our own identity with the role we are playing. We should do it with the complete consciousness, that once you undress the “costume”, you have an identity that has nothing to do with what has happened on the podium.
I think that life is the podium; experiences are the plot and people and our relationships with them- the actors, which become our partners. I think that each experience, each relationship is just an opportunity to get a deeper understanding about your own self- to see yourself from a different perspective. An opportunity to observe your reactions in correspondence with the different provocations.
Every day, gives us a sequence of opportunities to expose our ego and all the masks that we put. We should be really vigilant and we should have a strong desire to observe life and our own attitude- we should become experts on recognizing when we are playing a role and when we are our true self.
Experiences and relationships are just an opportunity to see your ego in action and use it in a way that serves you.
Once you manage to separate your identity from your ego, you start feeling the joy from living and you free yourself from the emotional attachment to the roles and plots, which you play.
You learn how to spend most of the time free of the emotional experiencing of life. You become an objective observer of what is happening. You gather experiences and then you arrange them in the puzzle of the meaning, which you long to give to your own life.
Because at the end of the day we are not our ego. The ego is just the image, which we build so it can fit the role that the day has offered. At the end of the day, no matter what has happened on the podium, the actor gets down from the stage, takes off the make-up, undresses the costume and puts it back in the wardrobe. The actor frees himself from the emotions on the podium, because he doesn’t need them anymore…in his real life. He doesn’t need the emotions, which are meant to fit another plot.
Because at the end of the day, all a person needs is just he and his true self.
Some of you challenged me to do the pistol squat from lying position, so there we go 🙂
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