It is said that humans are the supreme form of life on Earth. Then what is capable of destroying the human race if not the human himself? Today’s story is an example how the demons in our own mind can overtake our body and our entire life, take us on a journey, where we will have to face the scariest-our own self, own solitude and hopelessness…a journey, where few people manage to survive but everybody has the chance to do it as long as he believes in himself and the unlimited possibilities of the human mind!
Today the interview is with Gailna Gegenava. A woman, who went through the terrible consequences, caused by her destructive thoughts and negative perception of her body. Today Galina looks amazing- her body “says” that she is healthy,fit and strong. Her body shows she has control over her thoughts and her life. But her life wasn’t always that way! For years Gailna struggled with eating disorders, then gained weight to become overweight, until she found the right path, that took her to the place where she stands today-happy and beautiful!
Ines Subashka: How and when did everything start?
Galina Gegenava: At the age of 15 I began a career in modeling. I remember quickly realizing that in order to flourish in the competitive modeling industry I would have to maintain a dissipated child-like figure even as an adult.
IS: What was on your mind when you starved yourself?
GG: I remember it clearly, I HATED FOOD, I was turned off from it. Throwing up was not a problem, I was feeling sick in my mind when I had full stomach. Feeling of hating food created feeling of joy, joy of starving sensation in my stomach.
IS: Did you realize what you were doing?
GG: Not really, from not knowing about proper eating, to me it looked normal. I was thinking this is the only way to stay skinny.
IS: If yes, why didn’t you stop?
GG: One morning, I was awakened by overwhelming and intense feelings of starvation and dizziness. As I stumbled out of my bed and headed to the refrigerator my fragile legs buckled and before I knew it I was overtaken by wooziness. I fainted and completely blacked out! Shortly after, I regained consciousness I remember thoughts of frustration and fear were racing through my mind, as I Iaid afraid and alone on the kitchen floor.At this very moment I realized that something had to change!
IS: How did you feel when anorexia and bulimia took over your life?
GG: Reminiscing on all the occasions where I ravaged my body by self starvation and vomiting left scars of shame, hopelessness, and disgust. Additionally, these diseases ultimately isolated me from loving relationships plus encouraged a mind-set of depression, guilt, and shame.
IS: Were you happy with the way you looked or you were always striving to be thinner?
GG: I’m not sure. Its kind of really scary how it starts. First you set your self a goal hopping that goal will make you happy and you do all you can to reach it and then this is where its gets ugly, even when you loose weight you still look at yourself and think i wish I was skinnier and its goes to other level. I guess I was never happy with the way I looked.
IS: How did people around you react to that situation?
GG: By the time I got to that situation I did not have around me anyone to tell me how they feel. Fist its destroys your body, then everyone around you.
IS: Did they notice what you were doing or they understood when you were already too deep into the eating disorders?
GG: One of my friends did notice, but I’m not sure they had any idea how serious I was, till I fainted and blacked out.
IS: What made you decide to change the situation you were stuck in?
GG: After I fainted I got really scared, I was alone at that time and it’s made me make a change, fear of not waking up one day was scary.
IS: What made you want to fight the demons inside of you and face your weakness?
GG: This is a hard question. I got feed up with going up and down with my weight and trying to ketch up with my comfort zone. I finally realized what I had to do and found the solution in healthy and fit lifestyle. I had to prove to myself that I can do anything, I can have the body I always dreamed of, I just have to do it right. Desire to reach that goal made stronger to fight any darkness. I set my mind on it!
IS: Was it hard? What were some of the obstacles you had to overcome?
GG: Yes, this sickness possesses your precious mind and trying to destroy you. It’s not only effecting you, its effects everything surround you, your family, your friends. In one day you can loose everything, even yourself.
After I fainted, I started eating whatever I wanted to make me happy. And all that “happy food” got me to 180lbs, from one extreme to other. I had to learn about food, what to eat and how often, I had to understand what body needs and how to operate this beautiful creation human body.
IS: How do you feel now about your body?
GG: As of today I’m blessed to understand human body and how its functioning, I have learned to love myself and respect my body. I finally understand why MIND BODY AND SOUL in this order. You start working with your mind and look for solution, maintaining body and keeping it in shape will bring the best out of soul.
IS: Do you like what you see?
GG: Absolutely yes! My body in the best shape of my life and not to anyone standards, I made my own rules, I love my self from head to toe. I’m tuned in with my body, I know what it’s need to perform and be happy, I finally know what my body needs to enjoy life.
IS: What advice would you give to women who are constantly struggling with body image issues?
GG: This pain and problem comes from deep inside. It came from my childhood scars and teen straggle. Don’t rush to solve that scars over night, find someone to talk to and make you understand your beauty, your worth, you value as a beautiful human on this planet. You are a human with most amazing body and feelings of gratitude, you have been given a chance to enjoy your life and live your full potentials.
IS: How would you encourage them to overcome it?
GG:Don’t wait for someone to tell you how to do it. It’s all in you, you have all you need to make a change. It’s all in your powerful mind to find a solution and discover who you are. Don’t think about excuses, think about how proud will you be of yourself and how you can help others by proving you can make a change and even help someone in need by relating to they story. Just give yourself a chance and never look back, chance to be who you always wanted to be.
IS: How would you finish the sentence “My body is…”?
GG: My body is ….. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, UNIQUE AND PRECIOUS CREATION ON THIS PLANET…. because of my body I discover through me and I have gained confidence that is a blessing, blessing to be alive.
IS: If you want to add something go ahead and do it.
GG: No matter what you go through in your life, learn to love yourself first. Learn to be happy on your own without anyone. Walk tall and believe that you can achieve anything you like. Your power is inside of your precious body, your mind is the key. Set your mind straight, don’t be afraid to make a change, learn what needs to be learned to find a solution. Believe in yourself and others will believe in you. It’s never too late to make a change and make a difference, not only in yourself, but in life of others who surround you.
I’m thankful to my own body for teaching me to live and love life, my body that is a simple creation.
You can read more about Galina at Jen’s Fit Playground!