Sometimes, I dream about out of the way, beautiful and silent place. A place that nobody besides me knows about. I dream, how I steal some time from the fast paced day, I grab myself, my notebook and my pen and I go there. Where it is just I and what I’ve experienced. Just I and my thoughts, which are constantly trying to come ahead of each other, desperately trying to be the first one to attract my attention.
Well, today I managed to steal such peace. I managed to come to a place, where there is nobody, but me.
I am alone and I am thinking… about life of course!
I am thinking about all of its serpentine paths and the lack of a road map, to orientate you. A road map, which could allow you to trace your route in advance and then follow it. Just so you can be sure that you will end up, where you are going. If of course you have any idea where you are going.
Because isn’t this the problem? Not the fact that we don’t manage to achieve our goal, but the fact that we rarely know what we want ad that’s why we encounter the impossibility to chase something, so we can go to a place worth being.
And tell you the truth it is not strange that life is playing a game of ping pong with most of us. It is tossing us from one side to another, until it drains us to death and forces us to give up. Today we are here, tomorrow we are somewhere else. Always without a goal and without a direction.
And I will ask you again! Doesn’t it seem logical? When you don’t have any idea what you want and where you are going, who is supposed to know it? Life? Give up this illusion. Life is nothing more than a devoted servant. It is always working in synchrony with your thoughts and desires and when they are so chaotic, intertwisted and unclear… well, life is gonna be the same as well.
I was thinking how life is like a school. You know how in life there comes a time, when you should decide what you want to become. If you are gonna end up in a language school, in a math school, or maybe an art school…
Depending on what you want to become, you decide which is the school that fits your preferences. Just so you can receive the knowledge you need; learn the lessons and then when life “meets” you with the task, you can be qualified enough to cope with it.
Let me tell you that life isn’t any different. What you want is what you receive. You receive people you need, who will be your teachers. Those, who will teach you the lessons, that you need to master in order to achieve your goal. You encounter the suitable situations, which will test what you know and which are gonna help you find out if you are prepared enough, in order to keep on moving forward or you should stay where you are and learn some more, until you are grown up enough for the next stage.
That’s why when you, yourself have no idea where you are going, life will be a complete chaos. It will toss you from one “school” to another; from one teacher to another; from one “test” to another. And most likely, after each of this “acquaintances” you will feel more perplexed and more exhausted. But the fault is all yours.
You are the one who are constantly changing your opinion and your direction. You are the one, who allows your thoughts to be a chaos. And life, as we already figured out, works in synchrony with your thoughts and desires…. Life becomes a chaos.
Your life is being dictated by your own insecurity, confusion, fear and suspicion.
Life is tossing you from one extreme to another, because you have no idea where you are, what you are doing and why you are doing it.
Life is not bad. It is cruel, because you are cruel towards your own self.
Life is not mistaken. It is a total chaos, because you are constantly cluttering your thoughts and feelings and you rarely take the time to tidy them, to take a look at them and choose the best of them
Life is such, because you are such!
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And some pics from the weekend 🙂