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“When you take the full responsibility for something, then you earn the full control over it”

The life of a victim… the life, which most people live, but rarely dare to acknowledge it! Why do so many people live with the feeling, that the world is a dark, unfair place to be? Why do so many people, think that they are surrounded by evil, false, hypocritical people? Why do so many consider, that to be alive is something like a punishment, which you are supposed to put up with?

The answer even though at first sight an enigma, in reality is so obvious and simple- because most people are too much into the role of being victims! They have long ago given up the responsibility for their own life and their own actions, by giving the opportunity to everybody around and the unplanned circumstances, to dictate the direction of their life! And you consider this “not fair”?

I consider it to be faint-hearted! Of course, when you are driving a car and there is a passenger next to you, but in one moment you decide that you can’t do it anymore and you let go of the wheel, whining how all other driver are “idiots”, the person next to you won’t stay impassively watching… he will take the management! It is the same with your own life… when you give up the responsibility for it and just put up with whining and letting others feel sorry for you, somebody else will take the “direction” of your life and you will become a doll of your own life!

And if right now you are at a stage of your life, where you are skillfully playing the role of a victim… I am not judging you! I just want to make you think about it!

There were moments, when I wondered why some things happen to me… I used to refuse to take the responsibility for my own life… Then, when disappointments became way too much, I decided to turn to my inner self and I realized that it’s all my fault- everything that happened was my fault and I was attracting it my way! I realized that I can be the one who directs my life, as long as I take the responsibility for it!

Since then, for me life is beautiful and full of opportunities… for me the dark moments do not exist anymore! And not because I look on what’s happening through “the pink glasses”, but because I chose to take the responsibility!

While you are fooling yourself that others should be blamed for your failures, for your pain, negative situations will keep on taking place in your life and every time they will leave you with deeper wounds, with the feeling that you are weaker and incapable to deal with your life! Something like a prisoner… every time he is left helpless and exhausted, after the butcher has visited him…

Too bad that in life you are not a prisoner to anybody, besides yourself! You live with the illusion that somebody is keeping you in prison… and in reality you are carrying the gratings with yourself! And just when you take a look inside of yourself, you will have the opportunity to set yourself free from that prison!

In the moment, when you decide to take the full responsibility for everything, you will receive strength, that you have never imagine you’ve had! Then you will reveal the beautiful side of life! Then you will understand that nobody and nothing could stand in your way, as long as you are strong enough to take the responsibility for your life and its direction! You will realize, that for years you lived in an illusion, that others are the obstacle on the path to your goals, and in reality it was far from the truth- in reality you have voluntary given them the opportunity to rule and direct you!

Take the responsibility for everything in your life! Stop throwing the “ball of guilt” to others and you will find out that everything you want, is sitting around, waiting for you to head towards it! You are the once, who have been running away, because you’ve refused to walk on your own path and you have allowed others to drag you on theirs! Take the responsibility and I assure you that you will never want to go back to the life of a victim!

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Ines Subashka

Инес Субашка е основател на IFS - зали за кондиционни тренировки и мобилност. Автор е на 6 книги за здравословно хранене и движение. https://inspiredfitstrong.com/bg/za-ines/bio/

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This Post Has 10 Comments

  1. John Brown

    Wow. They really did a number on you. Its people like you that make life even harder. You catch a break and then you look back and judge everybody else to be somehow causing things that they have no control over to justify why you made it and they didn’t. Do us all a favor. Just be happy and shut up. Life does suck for some people. Not everybody who has it hard is a victim. Some of us have been grinding with a disadvantagefrom day one and no amount of positive thinking will change that. People like you are the very reason why people like me tend to get depressed. You make us feel like its our fault that we are burdened with heavy handed circumstances. That’s bull. How can you take responsibility for a sick game being played on you by the ruling elite. His can you take the blame for a bank crapping on you in a housing bubble and doing everything to make matters worse even down to deceiving you into putting yourself in a compromising situation. Perspective does matter butits not always to blame. I’ve witnessed some poor me people in my day and it bothers me to watch. But the insensitive tone of “get like me” is just the same level of ignorance modified to fit a privileged attitude. You can peddle your success guilt elsewhere. Coke back with some actual wisdom then type. Tell me how to unravel the nepotism at my job or the buddy network that it gave birth to which blocks me at every turn. Teach me how to divorce my govt from the corporotacracy it is spiraling in so they can be adults about our budget. Don’t tell me the reason why shit tastes like shit is because of my pallet. Its just shit. Plain and simple. Be glad you got out somehow and stop justifying bullshit.

    1. Timmy V.

      I agree with John Brown. As much as I wanted to, I could not stop Wall Street or the banks from taking 67% of my 401-k or $70,000.00 value from my home. I could not make our Government do away with Obama Care so it’s pay $938.00 each month for shit insurance, or pay the fine. This is why Life is not fair…The very rich are greedy, and most of the middle class has be come the working poor. Sure, I could become an Ass and steal everyone’s money with a scam or two, but I refuse to shit one my fellow man to make a buck. It seems to me that anyone that does feel good about their life’s are no good sons of bitches.

    2. Milkshake

      Yes fuck this author..
      Hopefully something happens to him/her than only will he/her understand..

  2. Praveen

    No wonder crime is so rampant in the USA. Look at the unfairness between classes of people and the unequal division of wealth. Just look at the bullying in school between the popular kids & the weak timid ones. I think there needs to be a worldwide revolution to address the inherent inequality in this planet and make a way to fix it. It can easily be fixed if dramatic steps are taken. But I agree that life is very unfair and sucks for many.

  3. I have been browsing online more than 3 hours
    today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be much more useful than ever before.

  4. Webofsound

    Obviously the author of this article doesn’t seem to be able to entertain the possibility that someone who is dissatisfied with life is NOT fully responsible for their misfortune. There are people, myself included, who have been given a winning hand in life, or even a decent hand, and due to a COMBINATION of personality, circumstance, and positive/negative experience, life just seems so difficult. Looking back we all make mistakes in our adolescence (for example) , and often lack the maturity or insight to understand our own problems. The difference between surviving and growing in this tumultuous time, or retreating into ourselves and letting negative thoughts and self-doubt fester and destroy us from the inside out, can come from something as simple as a hug, a few kind words of genuine affection/caring or the intimacy of a warm hand in your own. Good experiences bolster our inner strength, our self confidence and even our physical and cognitive abilities.

    I have come to understand that once we emerge into the world as adults, an inner reserve of self-esteem or positive experience is necessary to sustain us in difficult times. For the most part, (at least in my experience) western society, in its ruthless capitalistic cycle of consumption and domination over non- conforming individuals/minority groups , is a mirror of Darwinian morality. The weak, no matter the reasons for their weakness/self-doubt/inability to connect etc, are always viewed with contempt. And it is a vicious cycle. The more helpless and vulnerable an individual is the more vicious this contempt is.

    What follows from this is that an individual who’s life experience is primarily negative will often not have those reserves within them to deal with difficulties that life may throw at them. This is compounded when their circumstances remain hostile or difficult. People who have the right balance of positive and negative experience often take their happiness for granted and assume that happiness is something we must all work towards, something you must be worthy of. Not so. Having some degree of happiness in our lives is our birthright and is essential to our function as human beings.

    And at the end of the day, ultimately, the most fundamental happiness is really connection between people, above all else. So why then, when we encounter weakness, treat it with contempt instead of kindness and understanding? People like the author of this article mock the weak and unfortunate, and don’t understand that kindness and embracing vulnerability when we see it is our only salvation. Otherwise you may find yourself on the other side one day wondering why the world is so cruel.

    I believe we are all connected in more ways than we can imagine. The sooner we recognise this better our world will be.

  5. I have been surfing online greater than three hours lately, but I by no means discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours.

    It is pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made good content material as you probably did,
    the net can be a lot more useful than ever
    before.

  6. brandon jackson

    I coundnt agree more some people have disadvantages from birth that no matter how postive your attuide theres no changeing them .blind handicap family there born into poverty all kind of crippling dieases devastateing accidents ect……

  7. What does one take after living? I believe nothing and everyone of go empty handed. What an Interesting life!

  8. Abdou Abdou

    yes , noone takes nothing to the after life this is what is consoling me, i stopped caring about my sick life when people prevented me to do things i like, not crimes not drugs not anything harmful but when you succeed people read this as something ofensive, yes screw it i bet now evryone is happy, but i wont accept charity from any stupid person, i will reconstruct myseld someday.

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