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112

Ines Subashka

It happens again… the weight of the day is about to crush you. The night is here and you are alone with the silence. Your confusing thoughts are fighting for predominance. The pain is trying to conquer you and take control over your actions and thoughts. A moment of desperation, which you’d love to overcome, but some how you feel helpless and weak.

The reality seems so hard to bear, that you need to find an escape, immediately. Some kind of comfort. And you open the fridge! And an hour later you’ve eaten massive amount of food. The reality is back again, but this time it is even more unbearable and suffocating. This time, besides the disappointments, the day had to offer, You disappointed yourself!

You had promised yourself that you will never reach out to food for comfort and you just did it again!

As I shared here “My Personal Confession: Emotional Eating and The Hunger of My Soul”, I’ve also been the main character in the story described above. Fortunately I can say that this is already left in the past and I don’t have moments, when I find myself unable to control my emotions and desperate attempts to run from reality!

But unfortunately, nowadays eating disorders are one of the main ways, people try to run away from their problems. No matter if it is going to be anorexia, bulimia, emotional eating, a bunch of people search for solution and comfort in food, or in restricting it!

A lot of people write me, asking how I managed to quit on emotional eating!

The truth is that I got tired of it!

I got tired of being a person, who other people see as complete, and inside knowing that I am falling into pieces!

I got tired of, working so hard on a daily basis, and later on, when I am alone, to screw everything up by giving in to negative emotions!

I got tired of finding myself in situations of unconscious actions, where it seemed as if somebody else is controlling my actions. Situations where I stuffed myself and then when I was back to “myself”, to hate the person I am, because of what I’ve just done!

I got tired of floating and letting my life to be directed of negative situations!

I got tired of feeling weak, helpless and incapable of dealing with FOOD!

I got tired of feeling sorry for myself and putting up with the fact that I can’t deal with my emotions! After all I define the way I will react to what’s happening! It is up to me if I am going to let the situation conquer me and destroy me, or if I will get stronger out of it!

One day, just like that… I woke up and decided that from that day on, I was going to be strong! I woke up and I decided that food does not solve my problems; that the desperate try to escape reality does not save me, but just condemns me to more suffering and pain!

I woke up and I realized that problems and the pain that accompanies them, aren’t that frightful, when you have the bravery to look them in the “eyes”! I realized that if there is a real problem, it has a solution! You just have to find it!

I realized that what I was trying to run away from, actually has never chasing me! Because more often than not, that what we fear and what we claim to be a “problem” in reality is just an illusion! A fruit of our inner insecurity!

And then, I never turned back! Every time, when I felt that my other me- “ the emotionally instable”, is trying to control my actions, I told myself that this is not the solution!

I reminded myself about the feelings of disappointment, I was about to experience, if I give in to my emotions; about the pain, the discomfort and the loneliness!

Every time, when I felt like giving in to my weakness, I reminded myself how terrible it feels to be weak and helpless and how wonderful it is to control the situation!

I reminded myself, how I felt when I had moments of emotional eating and unconscious actions and how good and satisfied I feel now!

And I managed to fight my weakness, with inner strength!

Every time, when you think of avoiding reality, turning yourself to food for comfort, remember that reality can’t harm you, if you stand face to face with it!

Remind yourself about the terrible way you are gonna feel, after a moment of uncontrollable, unconscious eating!

Remind yourself how you felt before and promise yourself that you will NEVER let this happen again!

Because you can!

Because you choose your emotions!

You evaluate the situations and you give them a negative or a positive meaning!

***

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Ines Subashka

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I am a ‘something-searcher person” and I have devoted my life to the mission to reveal myself, to improve, to collect the pieces of puzzle in my own nature, so that to give and to receive from life as much as possible. My Life is history, full of broken dreams, falls, disappointments and finally achieved awareness, that it all depends on me and that each opportunity can be a materialized reality. We only have to think and act in a way, which will lead us on the road to its implementation. The most valuable resources we have are our time and health, and our Body is the instrument, through which we use them, to crate the world we live in. I dedicated my life to share myself, the wisdom and experience, which had left after the mistakes I had done. I am doing this in order to help people find their way, which will let them “’reinvent”’ themselves, to restore their health, confidence and trust for life. I wish they could realize their own potential. Training is rehearsal for the life itself; this is the place, where on a few square meters in the IFS you can experience each of the possible sensations- triumph, fall, disappointment, hope, will, weakness, and most of all power. The place, where in “monitoring conditions”” you can remind your body how to move correctly, how to work in your interest. Everything I have tried to achieve through IFS and the trainings is to help people bring back their consciousness, health and freedom to be who they are-without doubting. I have given myself time to re-build and to re-invent myself! Give yourself time as well. Come and train with us in IFS!

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