Today is one of those days when my thoughts are running through my mind. I go out for a walk in the park… with the hope that nature and everything that surrounds me will inject more meaning in them, and thus helping them to gather more power- just so this can allow me to breath them to life, to pack them in words and stamp them on the white piece of paper- where I will gift them eternity.
There are moments, that you wish you could grab, moments when you wish you could expand time and save them for longer; you wish you could earn more time, so you can be certain that you will remember the feeling and you will carry it with you- forever, even when the memory fades away.
In a strange way, I really adore life- the way it reveals itself with every passing day. Sometimes I have the feeling that everything in the future is a white canvas, with colorless outlines. Every day, which I get to live the way I want; every day through the meaning I gather, I slowly but surely fill in the outlines and draw the picture of my life; of my own meaning. Every day, with what I do, I have the opportunity to call what I desire, form the world of the invisible and give it life in the reality- I can make it more intense with my presence, with my personality and my passion.
The way life reveals itself, has some kind of magic, which could not be explained with words. I am sitting in front of the white sheet of paper and for the first time in my life, I feel incapable to express my emotions, thoughts and feelings. Probably, because the meaning is not meant to be stuffed in words. Probably, because the meaning is in the silence of the presence; in the speechless moments, when nothing matters and each word loses its weight, just because everything that surrounds you is so perfect and complete, that every sound, every movement, would just rob from the beauty and wholeness of what is taking place.
I rarely give myself time to rest. Sometimes, I am the kind of workaholic- those, who can erase their own presence and existence, just so they can use every bit of themselves, to see their mission complete and their purpose- happening.
I sincerely believe, that my job is my scenery, where I get the opportunity to give my best, on a daily basis and contribute for the positive change in somebody’s life. And still, it is mutual. Sometimes I feel as if people who I meet, are something like messengers from fate- such, who carry me the pieces of the puzzle of my own wholeness and essence and with the lessons they teach me, they help me find my own self and discover what I’ve buried or neglected deep inside of me.
The more time goes by, the more I realize that change is the biggest necessity- change is the only path to personal growth and to becoming more conscious. Every change is accompanied by the need to challenge yourself, to go out of your comfort zone and with a lot of consciousness, to resist your own mediocrity, which is clenched into the illusionary security of your daily routine.
Lately, I like challenging myself. I like doing what I am afraid to do and open the doors to worlds, where I feel really insecure.
I realized that a person feels really alive, just when he allows himself to be free- free of expectations; free of plans; free of the desperate tries to reshape his own self, just so he can fit in the norm or the standard.
Not long ago, I read that freedom is a frame, where you draw your own wings. Well, I decided to use the frame of my comfort zone and draw wings, and then give my best to do different things- to give my best, to make every next day, a little bit different than the day before that. It took me some time to take decision and feel determination, but probably the desire I’ve buried deep inside, attracted in my life, somebody, who gives me courage and strength; somebody who challenges me to become more, while he never leaves me to walk alone- because he is always there by my side.
Sometimes we fool ourselves and we do not notice how years pass by and every day is just a fading copy of the day before it. We live like robots and every time when something insignificant, but different, is taking place and stirs our daily routine, we feel in danger and we feel incapable to handle the situation.
I realized how great it is to challenge yourself and to broaden your comfort zone .This way, you create even more space, where you feel good and where a lot of things can take place, without taking you out of balance- just because, you’ve already discovered, that each challenge is just a ticket and an opportunity for your personal growth and one more step forward to your wholeness.
Last week, I did something like this. I often read about people, who take just one backpack and travel- without direction, without an idea where they are going. As if, they trust their intuition and that no matter where it takes them, they will walk the path, they were meant to walk, so they can meet people and experience things, which will help them discover more of their unexplored inner self.
I’ve always, secretly dreamed to be like those people. But I never believed it will happen.
It turned out, that everything you need, in order to challenge yourself is just a short moment, when you have the courage to get rid of your mind which is constantly trying to rationalize everything and just spread your wings, so you can follow the wind and find out where it will take you. Everything you need is somebody who believes in you and treats you not the way you are now, but the way you have the potential to be.
This turned out to be my formula to broaden my own personality and increase the space of my comfort zone.
Last week, I did exactly this- without knowing where I am going, I decided to take three days off my daily routine and gift them to coincidence and share them with a beautiful person. Three days, which turned out to be the best days of my life. I visited the most wonderful places on Earth- here in Bulgaria and I gathered so many pieces of my own essence, that I don’t even know how you could possibly gather so much meaning, for such a short period of time.
There is something magical about just floating with the moment. There is something great about immersing yourself in the beauty of nature, while being surrounded by your most favorite person in the world. When you are in such a place, it feels as if your ego loses its vitality and strength and as if it voluntary gives in to the greatness of your true self.
During those three days, I felt the way I’d love to feel for the rest of my life. The vanity, the ego, the expectations, the pretentions for something more, were packed in another luggage, which I obviously forgot to take with me. These were the moments when I really felt free and I think that I finally realized the meaning of my life.
I think that the meaning is to create time every single day– time, which you could spend with people who you love, those, in whose presence you feel the freedom to be yourself- without faking it and without trying to be approved; to create time, when you can challenge yourself and do what you are scared of doing; to have the opportunity to meet your fear and make friends with it- then to keep moving forward, feeling a little bit more complete and free; to create time, which you could spend in the absence of your ego and feel satisfied just because you are yourself- without the pretentions for something extraordinary to happen.
The meaning is in reducing what sucks the life and the meaning from our existence and leave what really matters.
I realized that in life there is time for everything. The problem is that we use our time for too much useless things, yet we neglect what truly matters- what brings us meaning and satisfaction. We postpone the meaning for the future, and we clench to the mediocrity in the present. When we distant ourselves from our own life and observe it from the side, we have the opportunity to see what we should take out and what we should leave- thus, we make space for more wonderful things to happen.
I realized how great it is to believe in people and give them a chance. Here is the moment to say how thankful I feel for my co-workers- Gabi, Irina, Dolya, Krustyo, Victor and Rado.
I am thankful for everything they are; for the time they take to work and learn and improve; for all their efforts and that because of this, I had the opportunity to take three days off my daily life and do something different- then come back even more inspired and motivated to give a piece of myself to those who need it.
Life in the town is usually a personification of vanity- a parade of the ego. Once you depart from it, it feels as if with every kilometer that you get further from the town and closer to nature, closer to the places where time has stopped and nothing matters, besides the present moment, you realize that actually you have everything and you do not need much in order to feel complete.
I can write a lot, but I will save this for my next book. 😉 Now, I will just finish by telling you to invest your money not in items, but in experiences…
…because does it really matter if your shoes or clothes are 3 or 5 years old, when you walk in a place where the greatness of the nature that surrounds you, belittles your ego and lifts your essence, making you feel the happiest person in the world?
…does it matter what other people think of you, when you feel free, because you know that you’ve been honest with the most important person in your life- YOUR OWN SELF?
…does it matter what is the image you build for society, when it is more than enough to be alone or with somebody you love, at a place, where it feels as if nobody else exists and as if the whole world is just both of you?
Trust me, that the life you dream of, is not an illusion. It is a reality. What keeps you distant from it, is just the notion you have about happiness and abundance. They are everywhere and in everything. The key is in your point of view.
The moment when you decide to be nobody else but yourself and the moment you stop compromising who you are, in order to be liked by somebody else, is the moment when the Universe rearranges itself, just so it can send you people and situations, which will help you feel happier, more complete and whole!
And some pictures from my trip: