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Picture: Gabriela Subashka
Picture: Gabriela Subashka

The day is coming to its end. The darkness is impatiently falling and rushing to move away the light. With every passing minute, the night is coming closer and it feels as if the feeling of guilt is growing bigger. You feel as if all your disappointments, failures, problems, use the day to take a nap and gather strength.

Then, at night when you are already tired, they wake up, and they wouldn’t allow you a peace of mind. The more you wish you could get rid of them, the more impertinent becomes their presence. They walk through the corridors of your soul, and stop on every corner to leave a trace, that will constantly remind they’ve been there.

The feeling of guilt is one of the emotions that rob a person’s soul. With every passing day, instead of getting smaller, the guilt grows bigger and gathers strength. It I being fed with feeling sorry for the missed opportunities, the actions we didn’t take or the words we didn’t utter.

The feeling of guilt is being born in the moment, when the precipice between your own idea about life and what is being imposed on us by society, starts growing. This is the moment, when your actions, thoughts and emotions do not match what you are expected to be doing- the moment when your own notion about the world, collides with the common notion about it.

The feeling of guilt, could settle in your soul, just when hesitation opens the doors to your life and allows it in. When you are tortured by inner controversies and when you are not following your own path, but instead you are trying to “package” yourself, in a way so others will like you- to act and think in synchrony with their understandings and notions.

Guilt is a heavy burden- it draws its energy from the past and then uses it in order to subdue you in the present and rob you out of the opportunity to change the outcome in the future.

The past is the wrong direction, but most people are headed towards it. Every day we return there- more confused and weaker than before. We return where we can no longer differ which memory used to be a reality and which is just a fruit of our own illusion. The memory, as everything that has passed is delusive. The memory has the foundations of a real situation from the past, but it is being build up with the tools of illusion, self-pity , longings and the sharp desire, that the situations from the past could have had  a different outcome. The memory is a twist of the past.

Day after day, most people greet the new day, just so they can go back in yesterday- where they reproduce past situations and feel guilt for their words and actions…or the lack of them.

We identify with yesterday and what we used to be in that moment, ignoring what we are today and completely denying the possibility of what we could be tomorrow.

Guilt is an emotion that deprives us. It deprives us from our strength, consciousness and the opportunity to be mindful.

You should realize that what you did yesterday or this morning, is not something that defines you. Your past mistakes are not our personal characteristic; they are not labels, that are being sewed on us and that we should try to hide to the end of our lives.

Past actions are just past choices. Choices that might have not been the best, from your present point of view; from your present level of understanding… but right there in that particular moment, they were the best you could do and what you were supposed to do in order to experience everything that followed them; everything that took you to today, where you are different- wiser and more capable.

A lot of people derive their identity from the past and build their personality with guilt and self pity! Don’t do that!

What you are feeling guilty about is not something that is part of who you are. Just because you made a bad choice, doesn’t make you a bad person. Learn to differ your essence from your choices. When you can do that, you will finally have a “weapon” and you will be able to change the outcome. You will finally realize your potential and that independently from your past, bad choices, today you have another opportunity.

Yes, you will never be able to go back there and change the outcome of the situations, but what you could do, is change your choice today or tomorrow, so you can change the outcome of the situations that are taking pace now or the once that will happen tomorrow.

Every day is a new opportunity- to build yourself and your life. Do not derive your identity from yesterday, because today you are so much more. What we should do is develop our personality, using every new day and the abundance of opportunities that it brings, instead of belittling our personality to a fixed point/ moment in the past and thus refusing to move forward.

What did the feeling of guilt bring you? Did it change the outcome of the situation in the past? It gave you just the long, sleepless nights, when the guilt woke up and poked you to wake up as well, so you could be its companion; so it could draw your strength and win power over you, by encaging you in the negativity of the past; by reminding you for what you did or probably what you didn’t do.

You are the master of your emotions… not their slave. Subdue your mind and you will subdue your emotions!


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Ines Subashka-Инес Субашка

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Ines Subashka

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I am a ‘something-searcher person” and I have devoted my life to the mission to reveal myself, to improve, to collect the pieces of puzzle in my own nature, so that to give and to receive from life as much as possible. My Life is history, full of broken dreams, falls, disappointments and finally achieved awareness, that it all depends on me and that each opportunity can be a materialized reality. We only have to think and act in a way, which will lead us on the road to its implementation. The most valuable resources we have are our time and health, and our Body is the instrument, through which we use them, to crate the world we live in. I dedicated my life to share myself, the wisdom and experience, which had left after the mistakes I had done. I am doing this in order to help people find their way, which will let them “’reinvent”’ themselves, to restore their health, confidence and trust for life. I wish they could realize their own potential. Training is rehearsal for the life itself; this is the place, where on a few square meters in the IFS you can experience each of the possible sensations- triumph, fall, disappointment, hope, will, weakness, and most of all power. The place, where in “monitoring conditions”” you can remind your body how to move correctly, how to work in your interest. Everything I have tried to achieve through IFS and the trainings is to help people bring back their consciousness, health and freedom to be who they are-without doubting. I have given myself time to re-build and to re-invent myself! Give yourself time as well. Come and train with us in IFS!