The only thing I need are my writing fingers and a scarce amount of pain…” Bukovski
I love driving my car on the empty, evening streets. Just like this! Without a goal, without a direction. Just for the feeling. Isn’t it strange? How sometimes, something without a soul, could bring you more peace and tranquility, than tenths of people around you…
Does it happen like that, because every car is something like a different world… the separate world of the driver inside. You know what I mean… just the way every person is unique for himself!
Thus, the atmosphere in the car is a reflection of the presence inside. Just like people. At first sight, they all look the same, and inside is hidden their true identity.
Some cars seem fancy and make the wrong impression, that people who are inside, has the same glamorous life. And sometimes, you don’t even suspect, that behind the fancy “package”, the radio is vocalizing the evening silence, with the saddest song you’ve ever heard… the saddest melody, which is passing like a background… just an addition to the pain, which is tearing the human’s heart, behind the wheel.
And after all… I was driving and I enjoyed the silence and the calmness of the evening. And then (more…)
The other night, as usual I trained with clients until late in the evening. I left the gym late and even though I woke up at 6 a.m. and I was already tired… I felt happy. I was walking in the cold evening, and I felt endless satisfaction. And you know what? This is how all my evenings look like. This night was not an exception!
I thought about people, who claim that the world is full of bad, cruel people. I thought about those who claim that there are no moral and values left. And then I kind of felt sorry about them… I felt sorry, that we are all surrounded by the same things, but everybody has the freedom to focus on different aspects.
When people go to the park, some will focus on the trash on the ground, next to the trash can and then they will spend an hour, talking about it and the lack of true values in society. And other, will just go, pick up the trash and throw it in the basket… then spend an hour admiring the beauty of nature.
The same park… different eyes, which are observing it.
I once again thought that with our own imagination about the world and what’s happening in it, we are the once who attract our reality. I remembered a line from Percey Shelly’s poem, where it was said “the souls of (more…)
Today I am gonna write about something, that most of you will wonder, how it could possibly fit among the other posts on my blog…
But because I always write only about the things I feel like writing about, and today I somehow don’t feel writing about something else I will try to dress my thoughts into words…
Relationships… a topic that is the center of every person’s life.
Why do so many relationships fail and why does it seem as if the bonds between people are supported by a really fine cord, which is so worn out, that even the smallest misunderstanding… even the smallest drift into the opposite direction of one of people, has the power to tear down the cord and put an end to everything…
The answer hides behind the fact that for most people love is an answer to some kind of a want, a necessity. Most people make the mistake to search the love for the self, through the love for another person. We fool ourselves that tomorrow the prince on a white horse or the princess in the carriage will come and fill or the voids in our lives. And thus the princes come one after the other… the princesses as well… they go through our lives and as if they give it a deeper meaning, and after each one of them the voids become bigger and bigger… and the next one seems incapable to fill them.
People get in a relationship, hoping to find themselves and instead they lose themselves. They get lost in expectations, requirements and rules. They get lost in the illusion “of it is supposed to be this way”. They get lost in the trials to chain the person standing against them and keep him there… just in case, so they can feel secure that he/she won’t run away.
And the purpose of a relationship is to decide which part of yourself, you’d like to see in action… not which part of another person you could capture and hold for yourself.
Everybody is searching for their OTHER HALF and this is the problem. It is like trying to (more…)
I am sure that you are wondering, why in the world am I wasting your time with this. As if you didn’t know it, before I said it.
Today I decided to direct your attention towards something, which in first sight everybody knows, but few people actually do it.
And it has to do with the last rep. I have the habit of observing in details people who work out. How they perform the movements, the mimicks of their faces, when the weight is heavy. You can’t imagine how much the expression on the face could “tell you”.
There are people, who can’t wait to finish a set. People who feel the weight of the dumbbell or the bar and they just want to screw the last couple reps… just to get rid of the weight as soo as possible and get back to their comfort zone.
And there are people, who are really challenged under the weight. They make funny faces, which “tell you” about the torturous feeling, that their body experiences under the weight of the bar… but they seem as if they are redirecting the whole “torture”to the expression of their face, and their body stays still… the mind as well. Their movement is not bothered by the rush to finish the set. Their movement is perfect and their technique outstanding.
Often times, when somebody is performing a heavy set, he/she usually performs the first couple reps with a good technique and then, when it is time for the last one, they just “mark” it and just let the dumbbell or the bar fall uncontrolled. They just let it lower in some funny way. Just for the sake of it.
“Between your fingers you a stone and throw it into flowing water. The effect may not be easy to see. There will be a small ripple where the stone breaks the surface and then a splash, muffled by the sound of the surrounding river. That’s all. Throw a stone into a lake. The effect will be not only visible but far more lasting. The stone will disrupt the still waters. A circle will form where the stone hit the water, and in a flash that circle will multiply into another, then another. Before long the ripples caused by one plop will expand until they can be felt everywhere along the mirrored surface of the water. Only when the circles reach the shore will they stop and die out If a stone hits a river, the river will treat it as yet another commotion is its already tumultuous course.Nothing unusual. Nothing unmanageable. If a stone hits a lake, however, the lake will never be the same again.” Elif Safak
Most people spend their lives like a lake… they hide everything inside. They store it somewhere in the deep, fooling themselves that they are hiding it, keeping it save. They spend their lives without ever daring to search for something. Without trying to find their purpose. Every day resembles the one before that. Their lives seem like the steady water in a lake.
But life can’t stand stagnation. Some times goes by, and as there is always somebody to throw a stone in the lake, just to check what is gonna happen, life “throws” obstacles on the “path”. Just to give people a chance to be pushed away at the shore, where they can see from the side…where they can finally become conscious and give their best to stay away from the monotony that is taking away their strength!
Just like when you throw a stone…”The stone will disrupt the still waters. A circle will form where the stone hit the water, and in a flash that circle will multiply into another, then another. Before long the ripples caused by one plop will expand until they can be felt everywhere along the mirrored surface of the water. Only when the circles reach the shore will they stop and die out.”
It is the same with people… each hardship that we face, will at first form a small circle. But when we get scared, instead of facing it and looking it in the eyes, we usually run away… further to the second circle, to the third… the more we run, the bigger the circle becomes and the harder it is for us to cope with the situation. Until we are being pushed away on the shore. Where we get the opportunity to look in the horizon and see what is happening.
Unfortunately not too many people do it! Most just say on the shore trembling from fear. Trembling from fear, remembering (more…)
If you’ve been reading my blog, you probably know that I love sharing my thoughts about how I feel in the gym and why working out is such an important thing in my life.
For me a workout is not just the time, when you gather all the will you have left, then go to the gym, make yourself suffer a little bit, praying that you’ve done something right and hopefully you manage to get in a better shape.
For me the gym is something like my temple. And a workout is my holy time. A part of the day when time and space do not exist. A time of the day when nobody and nothing bothers me. Even if I am surrounded by a bunch of people, in my mind it is just I and the weights.
The time, when once again I realize how much a workout resembles real life. The moment when I remember that just as in life everything depends on us and we are those that control everything… In the gym I once again realize that we are the once who train in order to determine the outcome of our goals and efforts. Everything is in our hands. Weights are just an instrument, and a workout is just the right place and time to execute the task.
It resembles life! Where everything we have is just an instrument, (more…)
When I was 12, they used to tell me that I am too young and that when I graduate school I will stop having such an “idealistic” view on life. I didn’t understand why they told me this! I graduated school, but nothing changed. I kept on looking on life, in the same positive way. Then, they once again told me that I am too young and that when I graduate college I will stop looking so “idealistically” on life… Time went by and I graduated. And what a surprise… the other day, they once again told me that I am too young and that I have to live a little longer, and then they say “I would realize how life will spin me and I will stop having such a positive and idealistic view on life.”
I don’t get it! Is everybody immortal and has everybody been living for centuries? Is that why they always tell me that I am “too young” and I haven’t seen enough? Probably when I turn 50, they will still tell me that I am too young and that I have to patiently wait, until my idealism is being crushed by the “ugly reality”.
I did not get it and I still don’t understand it…
… or actually I understand it. To see in another’ s body, your past. To see how your dreams from the past, your passion and desires “ran away” from your body and settled in the soul of somebody else. To go back in the past… on the crossroad, where misled by other “wise people, who have seen enough”, you abandoned your purpose in life and took the path… the path where it is crowded not by people with souls and dreams, but by bodies without goals and ambitions. On the path, that many are walking, but rarely somebody gets to arrive somewhere… the path, which is long, but which leads to nowhere!
„ I want to start and finish relationships as I do with books. When I am done with one, I just reach for the next one. I got to know it, I liked it ( or not that much), I laughed, I cried sometimes, I learned something new and in one moment I want/ I don’t want it to end.” Maria Vasileva
I read this some time ago. I think it sounds beautiful. It made me think about a lot of things and I made the parallel not just with relationships, but with everything in life. Those who know me, are aware that I love reading. I have so many books. I always wonder, why I don’t pay for a card in the library, just rent the book, read it and then return it back.
Every time I ask myself this question, I find the same answer… because after each book I read, it somehow becomes part of me… I take a piece of the book and it gives me a piece of itself.
Then, I leave it on the shelf of my huge home library… sometimes I remember about the book, and sometimes months, years go by without even thinking about it.
Every book I read, gives me the freedom to use my imagination, to experience what happens inside, just the way I want it. Just the way I see the world! You immerse in the pages, where you find more, than what you think that you already know about yourself.
Every book is something, like a mini world. Like a mini fragment from true life, where you (more…)
“You should make the difference between knowledge and being wise! When you become wise, you will respect your body, your mind and your soul. When you become wise, your life will be controlled by your heart- not your head. You won’t sabotage yourself anymore, you own happiness, and your own love. You won’t carry all that guilt and you won’t judge yourself. From this moment on, all beliefs, which made you miserable, which made you fight with life, which made life seem hard will just disappear!”
I’ve always found it weird, when people claim that they suffer, because they are following their heart… truth is that they are in pain, because they follow their mind, their wrong beliefs… the limiting understandings…
Nobody has ever suffered, when he took the decision to follow his heart. Yes, the road might be long, you might lose some people, some opportunities, but in reality they were just not meant to accompany you on the road to your dreams!
More often than not, people give up on their most sacred desires, because they (more…)
Yesterday I came back home. I had a desire to write a couple posts for later this week, but I felt exhausted. Sometimes I also have moments, when exhaustion, weighs on my shoulders and I feel as if I have no strength to do anything… and I decided not to do anything! I picked up my favorite music to vocalize the silence of my evening, and I sunk into contemplation! At first sight, I spend a completely purposeless night, which turned out to be far from aimless!
All the memories, all the balance- “sheets”, that I made, reminded me how much I have changed… or at least how much my view for life and all the experiences that accompany it, has changed!
I made the conclusion, that sometimes we are stubborn students… and life has no choice, but to “cure” us from that stubbornness through disappointments! At times, my mind was overtook by memories, which made me feel weird… memories, which took me back, to periods of my life, when my heart was frozen with indecision and fear has settled in my soul! Moments, that I looked myself in the mirror, and in the reflection I saw a person filled with dissatisfaction, insecurity, pain and conquered by the illusionary reality!
Then, I suddenly came back here… in the present moment and I felt some kind of relief… relief from the fact that no future defeat, could have the strength to hurt me as deep as the disappointments from the past! You will ask why? (more…)
“When you take the full responsibility for something, then you earn the full control over it”
The life of a victim… the life, which most people live, but rarely dare to acknowledge it! Why do so many people live with the feeling, that the world is a dark, unfair place to be? Why do so many people, think that they are surrounded by evil, false, hypocritical people? Why do so many consider, that to be alive is something like a punishment, which you are supposed to put up with?
The answer even though at first sight an enigma, in reality is so obvious and simple- because most people are too much into the role of being victims! They have long ago given up the responsibility for their own life and their own actions, by giving the opportunity to everybody around and the unplanned circumstances, to dictate the direction of their life! And you consider this “not fair”?
I consider it to be faint-hearted! Of course, when you are driving a car and there is a passenger next to you, but in one moment you decide that you can’t do it anymore and you let go of the wheel, whining how all other driver are “idiots”, the person next to you won’t stay impassively watching… he will take the management! It is the same with your own life… when you give up the responsibility for it and just put up with whining and letting others feel sorry for you, somebody else will take the “direction” of your life and you will become a doll of your own life!
And if right now you are at a stage of your life, where you are skillfully playing the role of a victim… I am not judging you! I just want to make you think about it!
There were moments, when I wondered why some things happen to me… I used to (more…)
“To call yourself soul soared, means to fancy yourself, that you are something better, something mighty and something more valuable, than other people. Those who are truly soul soared, don’t point it out… they just love people and life. They don’t call Life- God, don’t put names on Love… they just give away their love, unnoticeably!”
Lately I’ve noticed the tendency, that a lot of people “consider themselves soul soared”. They nag others how unenlightened they are, how big is the precipice between where they are, and where others stand.
At times I wonder if these people, really realize that in reality they are far from “soul soared” and that at times, people that they look on with condescension, are actually on the upper stair of their self development, than those who consider themselves enlightened?
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I am a ‘something-searcher person” and I have devoted my life to the mission to reveal myself, to improve, to collect the pieces of puzzle in my own nature, so that to give and to receive from life as much as possible. My Life is history, full of broken dreams, falls, disappointments and finally achieved awareness, that it all depends on me and that each opportunity can be a materialized reality. We only have to think and act in a way, which will lead us on the road to its implementation. The most valuable resources we have are our time and health, and our Body is the instrument, through which we use them, to crate the world we live in. I dedicated my life to share myself, the wisdom and experience, which had left after the mistakes I had done. I am doing this in order to help people find their way, which will let them “’reinvent”’ themselves, to restore their health, confidence and trust for life. I wish they could realize their own potential. Training is rehearsal for the life itself; this is the place, where on a few square meters in the IFS you can experience each of the possible sensations- triumph, fall, disappointment, hope, will, weakness, and most of all power. The place, where in “monitoring conditions”” you can remind your body how to move correctly, how to work in your interest. Everything I have tried to achieve through IFS and the trainings is to help people bring back their consciousness, health and freedom to be who they are-without doubting. I have given myself time to re-build and to re-invent myself! Give yourself time as well. Come and train with us in IFS!