Motivation

I was thinking about the life most people lead. I was thinking about the hypnotic way they live and the monotony of their days, where they lose their true self and where they bury their true desires and interests.

Since we are kids, society is trying to do the impossible, to take away each drop of uniqueness and desire for self-realization. Society does the impossible, in order to make us believe in the predestined iteration of life and to make us feel as if we hit a dead end.

Some of us resist the notion, others are pretty quick to allow their remodeling by the “tool” of the common sense.

Thus, the life of many, goes by not in a try to reveal their own uniqueness, their own abilities and then realize them, but just , day after day, they reaffirm the description of the world, that elder people made us believe in.

Most people spend their lives, taking from each day, just what is gonna strengthen the conviction that life is hard, unfair; that people are evil; that success is an utopia and achievements aren’t a fruit of hard work and persistence, but a coincidence, which is a privilege of “the chosen once”.

Every day is predestined to be cursed by putting up with “the facts”, which describe the world, as an (more…)

She was trying to hide from life, lying low in a corner. But you couldn’t hide from life, because it was everywhere and in everything.

And it was laying wait for you to hide, to feel the illusive security of your shelter and just when you make your mind easy, it overtakes you. It surprised you unprepared and it made you stand face to face with your biggest fears.

The intensity of the pain is proportional to our huge sanity and our refusal to be patient. And I do not mean the impassive waiting, expressed by the defeating conciliation and refusal from being.

When I am talking about patience, I mean your ability to give some time to all good things, that are headed in your direction. Because in the moment when you really want something, when you really free some space for it in your life and when you are able to carry responsibility for its possession, it starts heading your way! And it is just a matter of time to meet each other.

Seems as if people forgot the charm of expectation. The charm of not receiving everything immediately. There is some kind of satisfaction in patience. Like the pages of a book, life unfolds day after day, and what give it charm and what brings satisfaction is exactly the thrill, born out of the unknown- out of what is waiting for us on the next page (day).

Life is like books- where each situation, no matter how complicated and illogical it seems, at the end it always allays in some kind of a model. Life has direction and meaning, but (more…)

I woke up this morning, and the day has already started without my presence. Now I was supposed to catch up on it. I went to the bathroom and looked myself in the mirror. I felt some kind of completeness, which was incomprehensible. I thought that maybe, I still felt sleepy and that  the mirror is not reflecting me objectively. Probably it was a remain from the illusion of the dream, that the night brought me.

I remembered how other people are my reflection. Whoever I am, such will be people around me. That’s why I decided to dress up and go out… for a walk through my own self. Just in order to take a look at myself, from each side. I visited every single place I loved, and then the once I hated… in order to see which parts of myself I have left there. Something like lifting the bandage, which was hiding your wounds, and check if they have already recovered.

I was surprised. It was the first time that I was walking on the alleys of my own self and I liked it there. The reflection I saw was beautiful. It was some kind of pure. My image cleared up. The world was extremely friendly.

I took a sit on a bench and I remembered myself in the past. I remembered people and situations that used to be part of it; the words, that like the edge of a knife, were cutting through my soul and left deep wounds, which I hardly managed to cure. I remembered not just the attitude of others, but my own attitude towards them.

I understood, that I do not have power over what other people comprehend from my words or my deeds. Because, once you utter them and bring them to life; once you (more…)

She was walking through the corridors of life, where just like books in a library, on the “shelves”, thousands of human lives were arranged. Each one of them had a cover… his own face and his own “headline”.

Sometimes it is strange, how among so many books, there is just one, which is attracting you and you can’t take it out of your thoughts. At first sight, it looks nothing different from the other books, but somehow you know that there is something different about it.

As if, in the silent moment, you hear how it is mildly calling you and hinting you that among its pages, there is something that you need.Something, that will give you the answers to all the questions you are asking- the questions that keep you awake in evenings like the one before… those questions that poke you early in the morning and make you open your eyes, even before the day has awaken.

Life is a sequence of questions and the answers that come. Answers, which are hidden in the experience, disappointment, hope, love, hate…in everything we go through.

Some time ago, a person told me that answers come when we ask the right question. And probably this is the problem, most (more…)

It was one of those autumn days, when the rain is pouring. Seemed like  it was the moment, when all the emotions of the summer was supposed to be washed away… and leave together with the season, just to make more space for the emotions which were coming from the future and waiting on the threshold of the present, in an anticipation for somebody to invite them, and then fully live them.

… and she was sitting in the middle of the room and if you were watching from the side, you could think that she was trying to be sympathetic to the weather outside… her feelings were rolling down her cheeks and pouring on the floor. Each emotion- tear by tear- was regenerating in her eyes and was rolling down  her long eyelashes, where it was present in her life for one last time, and then irretrievably fell in the precipice of the present, which was separating the past and the future.

There was something beautiful and rectifying in sadness. As if it extinguished the fire of the burning emotions of what has happened and created a new opportunity for life and continuation…

Because the past shouldn’t be waked up. Because you shouldn’t make a compromise with the past and you shouldn’t feed it with memories, which bring it back alive, set it on fire and give it power to walk through the present, to leave its ashy footprints and barge in the future, where it is mocking us and lying in wait for us, in order to implicate us in its chains and make us slavers o f the remains of the past.

Her soul was feeling the burden of the emotions and thoughts, which were coming over and just the sound of a thunder, which slit the silence, managed to bring back her presence.

She looked through the window and remembered (more…)

She was walking on the path, towards the place where their paths were going to split; she was walking towards the crossroad, where everyone of them was going to head for his own future, enriched by the experience and robbed by the emotions of the break up. You are standing a couple centimeters from the person in front of you, but you feel as if he is so far away. You want to say so much, but you somehow can’t utter a word. People, who used to be the center of your Universe, today seem as if they have no place in your life. You look around and you wonder how to rearrange your present, in a way that will have some free space for them- just so you can keep these people by yourself… maybe just from pure feeling of sentiment for the shared past or pure egoism, born by the thought that if you let them leave, they will soon become part of somebody else’s present.

You are standing against that person and you feel like hugging him for goodbye… just to wish him luck. But how could you reach out for somebody, who is so far away from you, so far away from your true essence? Isn’t it equal to reaching out to the air and hugging an emptiness… an emptiness that is left with you to the end of your life?

We walk on the paths of life, where somebody is always waiting to meet us- to teach us a lesson, or to receive one from us. Some people get in the rhythm of our gate and manage to walk by us to the end… others are constantly chasing us, or forcing us to chase them. A race, where sooner or later, on the next corner the chased or the chasing trips over and falls down. He is stuck there, waiting for his next soul mate.

Often times, the one who keeps on walking, is (more…)

Sometimes I love going to the forest. Not in order to run away, but in order to discover myself. I sit there and I gather silence and peace. I enjoy…

The world is my own reflection. And everybody else, in reality is my own identity. It was one of those days, when my own presence, was painfully annoying. I didn’t understand myself! I am everybody else… It was raining, but who cared. It was worth the discomfort. I grabbed the keys and I ran out. The rainy drops, were shattering in my tortured body and I could hear the loud noise of their echo. Just like when you drop something in a big, empty room. You can hear everything, obtrusively loud. Even the movement of the ants. Is it really possible for such an emptiness to be hiding inside my body?

I was walking in the park, and the rain was washing my pain away… I was passing by other people, actually by myself. I was making up their life, or to be more precise I was making up my own life. In him I saw my past… just as painful, shattering and present. I got the courage to pass by him and leave him behind my back…that’s when I noticed her.

She was walking alone.  She was rambling under the rain, just as I did. She reminded me so much of my own self. The only thing that separated us were the years. Was it possible that she was actually I? I wanted to reach her, to go after my future, so I could get a sneak peak what was waiting for me there. I wanted to know where would I get and who would I be, if I kept on living like this! I had to understand… but the faster I walked, the further she seemed. For a moment I lost her out of sight, and I never got to see her again. Probably this was a hint from life, a delegate, who was supposed to remind me that I had just today and the more I run towards the future, the more everything slips away.

I think that life should be observed. It should be observed from a really close distance- with all of its details, because there isn’t such a thing as coincidence. The coincidence just disguises the situation, puts a formal outfit on it, which makes it look more important, brings for the feeling of mystery and twice as much enigma. And in reality under the “outfit” everything is so simple and everything has a deeper meaning.

By observing life… my own and the life of those around me, I got to the conclusion that it is no coincidence that exactly my mom and my dad are my parents; that I have a sister and not a brother…that my grandpa had such a personality, and my grandma another. Your parents aren’t by chance, as well. And before you start thinking that I totally lost connection with my brain, I will try to explain you what’s on my mind.

I got to the (more…)