A lot of people do not realize the fact that even though we look different, we all are so much alike. My needs, are also your needs and the needs of everybody around you. Sometimes, these needs are masked in different ways, but at their basis they are all the same. I always say that the qualities which make you successful in one area of your life, are those that make you successful in everything else – you just need to adapt and apply them according to the situation. Last week, I had a meeting with a woman, who used to train with me and we used to work online on her nutrition. She did great and she had great results, but suddenly she disappeared. Half a year later, she wrote me and she came to the gym. She told me that she wants change, but something is always stopping her. She gets to a point and then she always quits. She asked me how I find motivation to be so disciplined and committed and never quit. Lately, I often encounter similar stories and that is why I decided to share with you some of the things I told her. I know that it is not just her who needs my words.
1.Every goal has its price and the one who achieves it, have already payed the price
I hear it daily – people who say that they want to be able to do something or look like somebody else. When I tell them what they need to do, they say:
-Oh, I can’t eat eggs every day.
-I do not have time to train.
-I do not want to do push-ups.
-This exercise is too hard.
But do you know what the truth is? The person who you want to look like or perform like, also has the same thoughts. Yet, he doesn’t give in to them and he knows what the path to the goal is and he walks on it. It is like climbing a mountain and stopping in the middle, saying: “Oh, there are too many stones here and it is not comfy to walk on them.” Or “Oh, it is too cold and windy here, I can’t keep walking.” But those who go to the top of the mountain, go through the same thing, yet they endure it or the next time they are prepared, because their experience has thought them, that they need a jacket that will keep the wind away or shoes that will make it easier to walk. But how could they know this, if they haven’t tried it and experienced it?
Every goal has its price and everybody who has what you are aiming at, is paying it daily. I am not always super motivated to train and sometimes my days are so busy, that I just want to quit on everything and become a princess :), but at the end of the day I know that this is what helps me grow and become a better version of myself.
At the end of the day, a lot of people want change, without changing. In order to change, you need to quit on something you are now or on something you have, so you can open space for something new. If you are not doing it, then you are just saying things, without really meaning them.
2.Life aims at chaos and it is our task to put it in order – every single day
I always remind myself that entropy (chaos) is one of nature’s laws. Everything is inert and if we do not take it out of this inertia through our actions, then we can’t expect things to be different. Very often, people say: “When I used to be on a diet, everything was great and then I just thought I’ve created new habits and I started doing something else, and I immediately returned to the old habits.”
The truth is that what we focus on is what we are helping grow. The things we do not make the effort for, can’t improve by itself. People often ask me how I manage to stick to my lifestyle. The truth is that I make the effort to do it. I wake up earlier, in order to prep my food for the day, or I stay until later in the nigh, in order to do it. Am I always excited for it? Absolutely not. Sometimes I just want to go home and go straight to bed, yet I know that tomorrow I will feel much better, if I have quality food and if I do not waste time during the day, wondering what and where to eat. I know that I will be more productive, if I give my body quality food, then if I eat whatever I find. And at the end of the day, when you weigh the positives and the negatives from the effort to prep your food, the positives are far more, and you just do it.
But the truth is that I and everybody else who is doing like me, make the effort for it. On the side it might not look like it, because we are doing it every day, but this doesn’t change the facts. It doesn’t change the fact that we confirm our choices, decisions and goals – every single day. And the results come, because we do the everyday steps for them – not only when we are motivated, Motivation is overrated. It is a momentary impulse and if you rely on it, then it won’t take you far. I have never achieved anything, because I was motivated. I have achieved it, because I was determined and I knew where my focus is. And even when something tried to shift it, I kept sticking to it.
3.Change is a process and not an event
Change happens gradually and nothing is sudden. Sudden change is actually a process and a result of a lot of small changes who have added up and one day they get super noticeable. When somebody asks me how I resist the temptations, my answer is always that this is a fruit of years of commitment and dedication. I wasn’t like that at the beginning, and I have also gone through trying to resist to one chocolate, and then the whole box of chocolates. I have gone through the feeling of deprivation. Until the moment when you reach to a deeper level of consciousness and you realize that it is up to you how you feel, when you are on a diet. You choose what and how you are gonna cook it, and if you are more creative, you won’t feel deprived. In the same time, the will you need at the beginning is something we have all done.
There is no change, without the will for it. At the beginning, will is what helps us resist the old habits, while we are creating the new once. You can’t live on will, but it is the initial acceleration, which gives us the start for change. Yes! There is an initial discomfort, which you should endure, but we have all gone through it. But this is just the beginning and you should realize that there is no change for better, that doesn’t require some discomfort. But does that really matter? I love that feeling, because it makes you so present and conscious and it feels as if these are the only moments when you are really alive. Otherwise, you are living by inertia and then everything is so new and unfamiliar, that the only choice you have is to get close to it and then overcome it. A feeling that helps you change and if you manage to cultivate it, then everything happens with ease. But the initial discomfort is inevitable. Just accept it!