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the-past

It was one of these cold days- seemed as if the sky was suffering for something and the tears of rain were trickling down the window of her room. Was she trying to be sympathetic to the weather, or the weather was trying to be understanding to her- anyways the tears were trickling down her cheeks. They were just an outer expression of what was happening inside her soul.

Once again a memory from the past, had fallen out, like an old cut from a magazine- a magazine which you have forgotten, and on one of these afternoons, you felt as if it was screaming from the shelves of the library. You reach out and take the magazine. The cut sneaks out from the pages. Seems as if it was taking advantage of the moment, as a desperate try to escape from the oblivion, that was squeezing it among the pages of the old, useless magazine.

There are such moments, when the memories from the past sneak out- in a desperate try to run away from the cage, where we locked them and then threw in the furthest corner of our souls.

Memories, which return from oblivion and sate the present moment with their presence. Memories, which carry with them the sour taste of past emotions, which we wouldn’t want to experience anymore.

There are moments, when the memories from the past, return in our present. Memories which we are desperately trying to project in the present moment, so we can experience them again or so we can once again meet people, who used to be part of them- to invite them in our present and write a new story of your relationship.

A story, where no matter the hardships that “the characters” face, through the pages of their life, the feeling of security, the feeling of love and completeness are not gonna be ruined, but just strengthened after each obstacle.

The moments when you wish you could grab the memory, to make time stop and then lengthen it- just so you can give yourself one more opportunity, a couple more stolen moments, when you could see where everything went wrong.

Moments, when your life looks like a clock on the wall, where every moment is a passing second; every moment is just the fierce trotting of the arrows, for which there is no way back.

Your life is slowly, but rhythmically trickling down the face of the clock, and you wish you could stop it. You wish everything could just freeze to its place, exactly in that moment, so you could have the opportunity to stay there forever.

Just like the dead stop clock on the wall, has no value, thus a standstill life loses its meaning. Past moments, have their purpose, but it is far from clenching in them; far from trying to capture them and never allowing them to leave.

Just like the arrows of the clock, are slowly but rhythmically spinning forward, thus life is following a similar rhythm. Everything in life is cyclic and nothing that has life, and energy which moves it, couldn’t be static. Everything should leave the starting point, so it can pass the whole path, so it can make a full circle and then return back.

The sliding of the arrows on the face of the clock, is the accumulation of time.

The cycle of life, the accumulation of days, months and years, is actually the accumulation of meaning.

The past is not the place, where we should return, so we can stay there. The past, in the way we remember it, is just an illusion drawn by our inclination to twist the memory and give it emotions and meaning, that it doesn’t possess.

The more we allow ourselves to run away from the present, returning to the false feeling of security in the past, the more energy we give a time, that doesn’t exist and time that will never exist.

The past can’t be a source of happiness in the present moment; nor can it be a mean to pursue our present desires and longings.

The past is the part of us, which leaves footprints for who we used to be and where we have arrived.

This doesn’t matter, that we should go back in the past and derive our present identity from the situations that took place in the past; from people who used to be a part of our life or the actions that we used to take.

The infinite dimensions of the past, are a really unstable surface, to step on and to rely on it for building our present, striving to fulfill the longings for the future.

The arrows of the clock, are slowly but rhythmically sliding forward, so they can make a full cycle- but they always have one base point, in the middle of the face of the clock, which never changes its place or its time.

The life of a person is slowly and rhythmically sliding through the years and the accumulation of time is accumulation of meaning- but life always have one base point; a center which is left unchanged- and it is our own self.

When we realize that a person, as a separate personality, is his own center and that everything in the world spins around that center, then we will  get out of the inclination to be dependent and to desperately search a center, a base point, placed outside of us; we will give up the inclination to become dependent on people or situations, which can not give us what we truly need… because it can be found just inside of us!

***

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And one picture from yesterday 🙂

Ines Subashka-Инес Субашка

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Ела да тренираш в някоя от залите ни

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Ines Subashka

https://inspiredfitstrong.com/bg/za-ines/bio/

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I am a ‘something-searcher person” and I have devoted my life to the mission to reveal myself, to improve, to collect the pieces of puzzle in my own nature, so that to give and to receive from life as much as possible. My Life is history, full of broken dreams, falls, disappointments and finally achieved awareness, that it all depends on me and that each opportunity can be a materialized reality. We only have to think and act in a way, which will lead us on the road to its implementation. The most valuable resources we have are our time and health, and our Body is the instrument, through which we use them, to crate the world we live in. I dedicated my life to share myself, the wisdom and experience, which had left after the mistakes I had done. I am doing this in order to help people find their way, which will let them “’reinvent”’ themselves, to restore their health, confidence and trust for life. I wish they could realize their own potential. Training is rehearsal for the life itself; this is the place, where on a few square meters in the IFS you can experience each of the possible sensations- triumph, fall, disappointment, hope, will, weakness, and most of all power. The place, where in “monitoring conditions”” you can remind your body how to move correctly, how to work in your interest. Everything I have tried to achieve through IFS and the trainings is to help people bring back their consciousness, health and freedom to be who they are-without doubting. I have given myself time to re-build and to re-invent myself! Give yourself time as well. Come and train with us in IFS!

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