She was walking on the path, towards the place where their paths were going to split; she was walking towards the crossroad, where everyone of them was going to head for his own future, enriched by the experience and robbed by the emotions of the break up. You are standing a couple centimeters from the person in front of you, but you feel as if he is so far away. You want to say so much, but you somehow can’t utter a word. People, who used to be the center of your Universe, today seem as if they have no place in your life. You look around and you wonder how to rearrange your present, in a way that will have some free space for them- just so you can keep these people by yourself… maybe just from pure feeling of sentiment for the shared past or pure egoism, born by the thought that if you let them leave, they will soon become part of somebody else’s present.
You are standing against that person and you feel like hugging him for goodbye… just to wish him luck. But how could you reach out for somebody, who is so far away from you, so far away from your true essence? Isn’t it equal to reaching out to the air and hugging an emptiness… an emptiness that is left with you to the end of your life?
We walk on the paths of life, where somebody is always waiting to meet us- to teach us a lesson, or to receive one from us. Some people get in the rhythm of our gate and manage to walk by us to the end… others are constantly chasing us, or forcing us to chase them. A race, where sooner or later, on the next corner the chased or the chasing trips over and falls down. He is stuck there, waiting for his next soul mate.
Often times, the one who keeps on walking, is constantly turning back, with the hope that he is not alone; that somebody is still chasing him and sustains the illusionary feeling of security and presence. Thus, by watching back on the past, he somehow misses to notice those that are coming from the future. He misses noticing those that have the mission to take us further, towards our personal growth; those that will help us get closer to fulfilling our dreams.
Relationships are a really delicate topic. And probably one of the most powerful factors, that determines the upsurge or disgrace of a human life.
We approach relationships, through a really twisted view, a result from our egoistic attachment and a lack of a deeper understanding for what is happening.
I think that our relationships, reflect who we are at the moment. Who we are, determines the kind of people we meet. The more we grow as a personality, the more real people will come from the future and the more meaning they get to bring in our lives.
Often times we suffer and feel self-pity, because of the fact that we have to leave some people behind us, and in the same time we neglect the fact, that these break ups might not be a punishment, but more of a gift; not a privation, but more of an opportunity.
Because, when you have a clear vision for your own life, when you give your best on a daily basis, in order to grow, then life will respond to your wish. Then, the Universe will rearrange itself, especially for you, so it can give you an opportunity to meet people who will teach you what you need to know in order to become a person, capable enough and responsible enough to achieve his goals.
Sometimes personal growth is accompanied by a lot of break ups, just because people from the past, don’t always manage to walk with your tempo… or you fail to catch up with theirs. That’s when your relationship can no longer exist. Or at least not sterling. Keeping such a relationship by force, just because of a childish sentiment or an egoistic attachment is equal to robbing each other. You are both depriving yourself from the opportunity to meet people, who will teach you the needed lessons.
Back in the days, broken relationships with people used to scare me. They made me feel robbed, lonely and as if I was in a stalemate- where, if you continue walking forward, sooner or later you reach to a wall and you are forced to turn back- to the past, where this time nobody is waiting for you and you are left to rely on yourself.
Nowadays broken relationships don’t scare me. Now I know that I will meet a lot of people and there will be moments, when I will feel as if, there is no way that they could leave my life. But tomorrow, the future is gonna have a surprise for me and it will refute me. It will force out of my hands, the fragile security, that I’ve created and it will once again force me to walk alone… until the next acquaintance.
But not because I ran out of luck, but because this person doesn’t have a place in my life anymore, neither have I in his. People in our life, are supposed to “cure” our weaknesses and strengthen our strengths. Some of them are a constant resource of lessons and inspiration… and some run out of it. Then they are supposed to leave. Because staying when you have nothing to give, means cursing yourself and others to a mediocre existence; a lack of an opportunity for growth, pleasure, happiness.
Because relationships are something like a staircase and every step, gives you an opportunity to climb higher in the hierarchy of life.
Because you meet and you leave people in your life, just when you’ve got to a point, where you are supposed to move onto the next step; when it is time for you to broaden your horizon and get a new, different point of view.
Because every time, when you give yourself enough time to remember the past, you realize that who you are now, has nothing to do with who you used to be years ago; that people from the past, who used to inspire you, accept you; people who used to give you security and a feeling for love, today would be helpless in their tries to make you feel this way. Just because with every drop of time we are changing… unnoticeably. But the distance of the years, reports on each minimal change in our own essence and day after day it adds on… day after day it rearranges us in the hierarchy of life and places us, where we belong!
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Hi Ines
Have you heard something about bulletproof coffee?
What do you think about it?
Thank you in advance,
Arianna