The world is my own reflection. And everybody else, in reality is my own identity. It was one of those days, when my own presence, was painfully annoying. I didn’t understand myself! I am everybody else… It was raining, but who cared. It was worth the discomfort. I grabbed the keys and I ran out. The rainy drops, were shattering in my tortured body and I could hear the loud noise of their echo. Just like when you drop something in a big, empty room. You can hear everything, obtrusively loud. Even the movement of the ants. Is it really possible for such an emptiness to be hiding inside my body?
I was walking in the park, and the rain was washing my pain away… I was passing by other people, actually by myself. I was making up their life, or to be more precise I was making up my own life. In him I saw my past… just as painful, shattering and present. I got the courage to pass by him and leave him behind my back…that’s when I noticed her.
She was walking alone. She was rambling under the rain, just as I did. She reminded me so much of my own self. The only thing that separated us were the years. Was it possible that she was actually I? I wanted to reach her, to go after my future, so I could get a sneak peak what was waiting for me there. I wanted to know where would I get and who would I be, if I kept on living like this! I had to understand… but the faster I walked, the further she seemed. For a moment I lost her out of sight, and I never got to see her again. Probably this was a hint from life, a delegate, who was supposed to remind me that I had just today and the more I run towards the future, the more everything slips away.
I think that life should be observed. It should be observed from a really close distance- with all of its details, because there isn’t such a thing as coincidence. The coincidence just disguises the situation, puts a formal outfit on it, which makes it look more important, brings for the feeling of mystery and twice as much enigma. And in reality under the “outfit” everything is so simple and everything has a deeper meaning.
By observing life… my own and the life of those around me, I got to the conclusion that it is no coincidence that exactly my mom and my dad are my parents; that I have a sister and not a brother…that my grandpa had such a personality, and my grandma another. Your parents aren’t by chance, as well. And before you start thinking that I totally lost connection with my brain, I will try to explain you what’s on my mind.
I got to the conclusion, that we should pay more attention to our relatives- to their past, present, intentions they have, actions they take or the once they always postpone and never take. We should analyze the path that took them here and the opportunities, which the present moment is handing them, as well as the decisions, they are gonna make.
Why should we bother with their lives? After all isn’t our own life more than enough?
The close look on life, made me think something, that I proved myself to be true. Our own life is a trace of the life of our parents. More often than not, we get to argue a lot with our family members and we think that they are totally different. But this is the superficial and half-true way to accept reality.
Every single member of our family is a fading copy of us…or we are a fading copy of them. Everyone of them possesses the intense image of a particular characteristic of our own identity. Each one of them reflects a part of us and with his own presence he gives us a vivid example of how our life is gonna be, if we let or if we don’t let this characteristic to develop further.
By observing the life of my family members, I notice how my own path in life, leads me to crossroads that place me in front of the choice- to take a decision, such as the one my father took, or as the one my mother took. To show courage and act, like my grandpa did or to be passive and just observe as another member of my family did.
I got to the conclusion that our family is a whole school and every member is a different book with hundreds of lessons. It is enough to pay more attention to all people, to observe their behavior, the results and the consequences of their decisions and actions, so we can have a pretty good orienteer what is waiting for us and how we should react.
I’ve noticed how my own life, is on the path of one of my closest family members and sometimes when I feel at a crossroad, I mindfully turn to his life.
Sometimes the situations, the “coincidences” and people, who took one of my family members, to the place where I am standing now, are completely different than the once that took me there, but the context is always the same.
In myself, I see the opportunity to take from them the right decisions and adapt them to my own life, and the wrong once , or at least the once that do not fit my understanding, are in my complete power to be changed.
The life of our family members is something like a joker- what is gonna happen if I do this, or if I don’t do that.
And I bet that not too many of you, have paid enough attention to this, but if you give yourself some time to think through it, you will notice how your life resembles pretty much the life of some of your family members. And if you do not change something on the path you’ve chosen, when you get to the crossroad, day after day you are walking on the footprints of those that walked before you and if you wonder what you will get in the future, you have a pretty good hint in the life of that person.
I am really curious about life and the way it goes. This is constantly making me wonder for the answers of hundreds of questions, and sometimes I have no idea where I should search for the answer… or at least that is what I thought…
Until the moment I ask myself the right question. And as a wonderful person once told me- “The answers come, only when you get to ask the right question!”.
And that is what I found out. That the answers of all my questions are hidden in the lives of my family members. And just if I take enough time to communicate with them, to observe them, to understand and hear them, I will get the opportunity to find out what I am looking for. That is when I will get the chance to find one more piece of information, which will enrich my experience and my knowledge and which will give me the confidence to move one step further.
Just this has the potential to give me the power to change the pattern way that life goes on by and to change the outcome of the situation, that the one before me didn’t get right.
Because we should take more time to observe and listen to people. Because even the “meaningless chat”, always carries enough information, the one that we need in that particular moment. An information that reveals us more about who we are and what we want to become.
Because more often than not, when somebody else is talking, in reality it is us that does the talking. Even if we don’t admit it, sometimes those that seem like the most annoying people, are the once who painfully reflect our own essence and our refusal to communicate with them, is the refusal to stand face in face with our own self, and face the side of our personality, which we are afraid to admit, exists.
Because even the “coincidence” of a conversation we heard or a word that reached our ears, are intentionally meant to reach us and make us think deeper, so we can add more knowledge to our present understanding, and gather the information we need in order to keep on moving forward.
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