„…because we are all a sum of- feelings, people, situations, hopes, fears, past, present and future. And we are like pieces of puzzle scattered around.”- Maria Vasileva
People… they are so strange! They go out on a date today, and all they talk about is yesterday. Or maybe tomorrow. I am sorry, but I find this boring. I do not want to go out neither with your past, nor with your future.
I have just today. Just the present moment!
That’s why I’d much appreciate your presence now. Right here!
I am tired of listening about the past.
Interestingly everybody loves the memory. In the desperate tries to bring it alive in the present… they miss the moment.
The present always makes the past seem more significant. It enriches it with the regret for what hasn’t been, and the nostalgia of what has been.
The importance of the past…. A result from the pink glasses of illusion.
I am tired of the ghosts from the past. I am weary of their obtrusive presence, and in reality painful absence.
I am here! Now!
Stop talking to me about Him..or Her!
It doesn’t matter what it used to be…
They are already gone…
And it will never be again!
Tell be about today! Tell me about yourself… but not about the essence of the past or the longing for the future.
Tell me what they made out of you…
Not exactly how they did it!
Leave the past… have patience for the future!
Stop overburdening the present moment, with emotional leftovers from past experiences. Give up the habit to build walls between you and people from the present, using prejudices, which are a result from the past. Stop piling them on top of each other and thus interfering with your communication with other people.
I learned that every time I have a problem with somebody, it doesn’t come from the person standing against me. The source of the problem is hidden inside of me- my understandings, my own beliefs and expectations for what the other person is supposed to do or say.
And this is so ridiculous and it always robs us from the opportunity to be surrounded by really worthy and valuable people. Because real people, those that are worth to be part of our lives are unique in their own way. They won’t act the way we think, they should in a particular situation. They won’t say exactly what we expect them to say.
Often times, we hurl back people, because they do not act according to our own model of behavior. We overburden them with our quest for perfectionism and we measure each one of their deeds or words, and every time we detect even the minimal diversion from “the norm”, we start judging them and reproach them, that they are strange or difficult. We start trying to remodel them, so they could fit our own understandings.
Our communication with other people, turned out to be a competition between people- who is gonna make a better “dissection “ of the feelings and the thoughts of the interlocutor. And this is so stupid. Why should we constantly make suggestions what the other person is thinking, why he is saying a particular thing or why he is acting in a particular way. After all, “dissection” itself, supposes that you “kill” the researched subject. The dissection of feelings and thoughts, supposes that you must kill somebody’s identity, uniqueness and then try to rip off just what you need. Just what fits your own notions.
But this is not the meaning behind our relationships with people…. The understandings of each one of us are a result of past experiences, disappointments, triumphs, joy and pain. For every one of us, each word, each gesture carries a different meaning, different emotions and give birth to different feelings and thoughts. But this doesn’t mean that we should overburden the present moment and our relationships with others, with what has happened in the past.
Because the only opportunity to be surrounded with real people, is by allowing them to be who they are. Without trying to make dissection of their thoughts and feelings; without making false suggestions about the motivation, behind each one of their deeds or words. The only opportunity to see the true essence of a person is to provide him space… where he could be himself. The space, where he will get the chance to show who he is and with his presence, he will enrich your personality.
Because clenching somebody’s identity, twisting and squeezing it, then throwing the lame on it for being different, just robs you out of the opportunity to meet real people.
Because real people do not stand to be reshaped according to the situation or the mood of the interlocutor.
Real people are strange in their own way…
The only thing they need in order to stay in your life is space and permission…
The permission to be themselves and the space to show who they are!
P.S. If you liked this post, please take a minute and share it with your friends! I’d greatly appreciate it!