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„Try just a bite!”

“ Try it, I made it just for you!”
“ If you do not wanna have cake, I won’t either, and I’ve been craving it all day long!”

“ Get some pumpkin pie, it is a family tradition. Do you really want to be the first one that will stop it?”

If you are on the road of eating healthy, probably you often hear words like the one posted above! Sometimes the feeling is terrible, when other people try to make you feel guilt, just because you are trying to take care of your health but in their eyes you just belittle their hard work, by refusing to try the meals they cooked!

People are born with an instinct, to know when we are hungry and when we are full! Unfortunately somewhere early in our childhood, we lose that instinct. Part of it is due to the people, who are part of our lives and the meaning they give to food! I guess that all of you know how food is associated with something more than “just satisfying your physical needs of energy”. Food has become a way to express your love, a premise to get closer to others, a way to honor traditions, to show your respect and appreciation for others!

I remember the terrifying feeling I used to experience when I began eating healthy! All my loved once, were used to me, never refusing any treats or food as a whole. One of my grandmothers, used to cook a lot of different desserts and meals for lunch, when she knew I was going to visit her. For her that was a way to show me how much she loved me and how much care she took of me. On the other hand, as a good grand-daughter, I always showed my granny how much I respected her hard work, by eating as much as I could!

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When eating became an informed choice, I began to reject, cakes, biscuits, chocolates! People around me were offended, because they thought it was a pure disrespect and tried everything to blackmail me, so I can give in. They used to make me feel guilt all the time! The feeling, to be sure that you are doing something good for yourself, but in other people’s eyes it is just a caprice and disrespect, is devastating! There were moments, when I’d rather just stay at home, and don’t go anywhere, just because I didn’t want to go through the moment when I have to say “No, thank you! I do not want!”, just to get a galaxy of blame!

How to reject food politely

As time went by, I realized that normal people, understand and that there are ways to politely reject the treat without offending others. What I did was the following:

First, you have to always state out loud, how much you appreciate the hard work of others. It would be nice if you say something like “ This cookies look great. I am sure that you put in a lot of effort!”

Second, it is important to state what you need. Say something like “ Thank you but I am not hungry right now.”;”Thank you but right now I feel like eating some fruit!”. Try to emphasize right in the beginning what is the reason, so you won’t leave people thinking that you’d love to eat cookies like that, but theirs just don’t taste that good!

Third, if you’d like, you could explain further, by saying that you are trying to eat healthy and desserts and fried foods, will make you feel bloated and cause headache. But remember, that it is not necessary to give explanations to everybody!

Fourth, I know that there are moments, when healthy eating becomes something like a religion to you. You catch yourself judging people, who do not have the same nutrition plan as you do, and you let yourself giving them advices how to be just like you! Do not do that! Usually this sharpens the conversation and puts a lot of unwanted pressure in the relationship. If somebody want an advice from you, go ahead and share your opinion, but do not intrude it! You could tell how and why you eat that way, but not intrude your lifestyle directly to others!

Fifth, if people whose company you are in, are the closest to you, just go ahead and tell them what you are trying to do and how you want to eat. That is what I did with my grandmother. At the beginning she used to get offended, but with time I dared to tell her that I want to have a healthy life and I do not have anything personal to her cooking abilities. I told her that instead of taking so much time to cook a variety of desserts, she could just prepare something simple that I am gonna eat! Thus, nowadays every time I go to visit her, she has prepared chicken, salad and butter on the table!Now I am happy that I do not need to think of absurd excuses why I won’t eat and in the same time she is happy that she took care of me.

My other grandmother, never got offended by me rejecting her treats, but she didn’t quite understand me. One day, she just asked me and I explained her, how I am eating and why. A month later, she had a birthday and she had invited guests. She had prepared sweets for them. When I entered, she took out a large bowl of veggies, and put them in front of me, with a big smile! 🙂

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Whatever you do, there will be always people, who won’t understand you and they won’t even try to do it! That doesn’t mean to let them make you feel guilty! Try to reject politely, the food they are offering! If they do not get it, just pass through their blaming words with a smile and keep in mind you are doing it for yourself! You are doing it in order to be healthy and strong!

Use these advices, so you won’t overeat during the holidays, just because you can’t reject food to other people!

What are your tips to reject food politely?

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Ines Subashka

Инес Субашка е основател на IFS - зали за кондиционни тренировки и мобилност. Автор е на 6 книги за здравословно хранене и движение.

Ела да тренираш в някоя от залите ни

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I am a ‘something-searcher person” and I have devoted my life to the mission to reveal myself, to improve, to collect the pieces of puzzle in my own nature, so that to give and to receive from life as much as possible. My Life is history, full of broken dreams, falls, disappointments and finally achieved awareness, that it all depends on me and that each opportunity can be a materialized reality. We only have to think and act in a way, which will lead us on the road to its implementation. The most valuable resources we have are our time and health, and our Body is the instrument, through which we use them, to crate the world we live in. I dedicated my life to share myself, the wisdom and experience, which had left after the mistakes I had done. I am doing this in order to help people find their way, which will let them “’reinvent”’ themselves, to restore their health, confidence and trust for life. I wish they could realize their own potential. Training is rehearsal for the life itself; this is the place, where on a few square meters in the IFS you can experience each of the possible sensations- triumph, fall, disappointment, hope, will, weakness, and most of all power. The place, where in “monitoring conditions”” you can remind your body how to move correctly, how to work in your interest. Everything I have tried to achieve through IFS and the trainings is to help people bring back their consciousness, health and freedom to be who they are-without doubting. I have given myself time to re-build and to re-invent myself! Give yourself time as well. Come and train with us in IFS!