“The deepest human defeat suffered by human beings is constituted by the difference between what one was capable of becoming and what one has in fact become.” Ashley Montague
Sometimes I really wish more people could see the world, the way I see it. Sometimes I really wish people had more faith in their own greatness, in their unlimited abilities, in the beauty of life and the fact that faith is not trying its best to make us miserable- actually it is the opposite- everything that happens, has the purpose to help us grow and become happier.
Day after day, the older we get, we become more miserable, more concerned, more nervous and disappointed. Have you noticed children? They really know how to enjoy life… how paradoxical! As if they are fragile and inexperienced, and in reality they obviously know more about life than we do! You will say that they are still young and they haven’t gone through betrayals, disappointments, failure and blame… but you know what?
A really wise man, once told me that diamonds, in order to become so shiny, beautiful and hard, should be polished. The same person told me that the same applies to people- the more hardships you overcome, the more you will shine and the more beautiful you are supposed to become. Obstacles are the “tool” of life to polish us- to make us more beautiful, of higher value and tougher.
Have you ever asked yourself why with every passing year, even though you pile up more experience and knowledge, it gets harder; you feel more miserable and confused?
I found the answer to this question, when I read “The Saint, The Surfer and The CEO” by Robin Sharma. A wonderful book… there Robin Sharma makes an allusion about “the breaking off of the integrity”, and before I lose your attention I will say it in simpler words- “ the bigger the break off between your inner world and your real YOU, and what you show to the world around, or your social YOU, the more miserable you feel in your life”. Words that are so potent, that they have the power to give an answer to every single question you’ve been asking yourself!
The reason that with every passing year, you become more miserable and unsatisfied , is that with every passing day you are suppressing who you are; the person that you have the potential to be. A person is perfect by nature! Yes, I said it! Just like a baby squats with perfect form, kids know true meaning of life! With every year that we get older, instead of developing ourselves, we lose ourselves. With every passing year, elder people lose functions of their body, forget how to move properly and how to squat properly. Besides that elder people lose their true self. Suppressed by norms in society, expectations and wrong assumptions about life, the majority of us let the world around us shape us and determine who we become.
And is that supposed to happen? They say that a person is truly happy only when the world around us is in harmony with the world inside of us. That makes me think, that in order to be happy, we should shape the world around us, according to who we are, and not vise versa!
I’ve always done, what I want. Even when others did not approve what I do and what I like, I’ve never given into somebody else expectations. I am guided by the words of David White that “the soul would rather fail in its own life, instead of succeed in somebody else life.”
That’s what I do! I am risking to succeed or fail- but in my own life. I am trying really hard to create a world around me, that corresponds with my true self. Something like my own reality. Everyone of us lives in his own reality, or at least we think so… usually we let our reality to be a reflection of the reality of our friends and family. Not me!
I have my own path, that I am determined to walk. A path that is not always smooth, at times I encounter stones and wholes… but this is my path. I lost a lot of people and a lot of things I love, but not because I did not hold on them, but because they were not meant to be part of my reality!
Look around yourself! What do you see? Is the world around you, what you’d like it to be or what others expect it is supposed to be? If every day you are making compromises with yourself, with what you want to become and what you want to do in life, that means that you are “breaking off the integrity” and with every passing day you are going further from yourself. Every day you will become more miserable and confused.
Everyday we put up with people and situations that are not meant to be part of our life and thus we are committing the biggest betrayal- the betrayal towards ourselves! Putting up with the behavior of people around us, just because that is what is “right”, we are suppressing a part of ourselves, a part of our true self. The more we suppress ourselves the further we go from ourselves and the more we are gonna suffer.
I don’t know if you understood me… at times I have no idea how to express my feelings and thoughts in words… but even if you did not get a single word from what I wrote so far, I will ask you for one thing!
At least for a day, brush off the expectations that other people have for you. Forget what your mom, dad, boyfriend, girlfriend, neighbor, teacher or boss expects from you… and ask yourself “What do I expect of myself?” If you had the chance today, to be everything you’ve always wanted to be, what would you do? Answer this question and go ahead and act! Do it and thus, at least for a day you will make a step back to your true self… you will get closer to yourself… and I hope that this will give you the strength, to never turn back to the outside world, searching for an answer or a solution… because EVERYTHING you need, is hidden inside of you! Just find the courage, to walk the path to yourself!
Are you gonna fulfill the wish of your soul and risk to fail in your own life, instead of succeed in somebody else life?
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