The day just started…and my strength is already gone….
I feel tired. I am hardly breathing. Seems like I am struggling to take a breath, trying to get rid of something that weighs like a burden. It is stuck in my chest and it is breathing my oxygen.
My pulse is racing. My heart is beating faster and harder. Just like my thoughts are rushing through my mind- they are rushing to remind me about their existence and leave behind them a loud echo, that is deafening everything around.
The bar is heavy, but I don’t feel it. The bar feels like feather on my shoulders, compared to the overwhelming feeling of my own disappointment!
I feel tired. Drops of sweat are rolling on my cheeks…instead of real tears. As the drops fall on the ground, I feel like my heart is shattering to smaller pieces.
I don’t feel tired anymore! I am just destroyed by my own mind.
It is crowded with people everywhere around me, and I don’t even notice them. Seems like I am in another reality. In a whole different world. Surrounded by my own memories,thoughts and heartbreaking feelings!
A day when I can’t bear the fast spinning motion of life. A day when I can’t bear the constant push of the hands, trying to shape us every single day…
I fall on the ground. I give my all to push myself up, but I feel weakness…the weakness of my mind, the weakness I let conquer my tortured mind!
Then, I remember that while today I am struggling to breath, yesterday breathing was easy…
While today my pulse is racing and the shattering echo of my thoughts is deafening everything around, yesterday my heart was beating slow and my mind was following the motion…
While today I feel the heartbreaking feeling of my own disappointments, yesterday I was enjoying the joy of my accomplishments…
While today my heart is breaking into pieces, yesterday I picked up these pieces and put them back in place…
Then I remember, that the weight of this same world, that I somehow can’t bear today, the fast, spinning motion of my life today, yesterday I followed the motion in order to get where I longed to be…
Then I remember that the weakness I let conquering my body today….was the strength that helped me get up yesterday…
Then I remember that life is full of up and downs…
Then I remember that it won’t be so hard every day…
Thank you, Renae! Glad you like it! 🙂 Keep your head up!
Thank you, that is exactly, exactly what I needed to read right now. Wonderful beautiful words.